My mental health has been slipping lately. It is hard to be so aware of it sometimes. To know I am falling back into destructive habits, but not have the motivation to change the behaviors. Thankfully, I know myself, and I am getting better at finding small things to do for myself that help my self-worth, which is often my biggest fight with my mental health.
I have felt poorly the past couple of days, I think it has a lot to do with my depression and loneliness. It is pretty easy to wallow in your contrived misery, isn’t it? I am awfully good at that part. Instead of ruminating on it another day, though, I spent some time on self-care activities today. I colored and cut my hair, I did some laundry, cleaned up my bedroom, painted my nails, gave myself a pedicure, set up my soft box that has been sitting in a storage box since we moved, put makeup on and shot some sexy ass photos in a revealing piece of lingerie that makes me feel like the right kind of trashy, then recorded some masturbation videos for the Dropbox folder (it being Masturbation Month and all.)
It perked me up enough to walk down and get some drinks for the evening. Here’s hoping I can put some of this energy into some sexy time with my partner tonight. Can’t hurt that I showed him my videos this afternoon before I uploaded them, right?