It turns out I have a kidney infection. That may be the least sexy thing I’ve written lately, but it’s life and sometimes it’s not all masturbation and blowjobs (much to my dismay, to be clear.)
That being said, I find a deep comfort in making my partner feel good. I always have. Even if I’m not feeling well, mentally or physically, it makes me feel better to please him. That might be eye-roll inducing to some, but I stand by it. It’s just part of my deep-seeded desire to serve him, maybe.
Before the infection set in, I was just uncomfortably dealing with the stone aspect of this glorious kidney adventure. Lying in bed with my partner, I found great relief in rubbing my hand down his back and over the delicious curve of his warm bum.
I’ve rubbed this same back in this same manner for years, I know his body well. Normally when I reach the bottom of his ass he arches up to meet me just barely, almost involuntarily. That night he didn’t.
I, being the silver-tongued sex talker that I am, was telling him that I’d read in the pharmacy that the meds they gave me were also meant to stop uterine contractions so I was immediately concerned about orgasms. I said I was sure that meant I was a pervert down to my core, sitting in a pharmacy, miserable and still thinking about sex.
He sighed in what felt like relief at my share and said he was feeling quite guilty and perverse for being turned on while I rubbed on his backside while I was in so much pain. I feel like that says a lot about my partner and our D/s dynamic. We agreed to a 24/7 full-time deal. That obviously doesn’t mean what some people think it means.
He’s all day, everyday my Dom, my Daddy, but he never, ever expects me to do anything I don’t want to do. Could he have flung me over and fucked my ass right then and there? Sure. I’ve given him permission to have my body whenever he pleases, it’s his. But it’s about respect, decency and love.
I explained to him that it was the perfect distraction, he was warm, felt nice in my hands and it makes me feel good to make him feel good. He relaxed and let me continue, eventually rolling over so I could run my fingers down his growing cock and balls.
It wasn’t the most exuberant blowjob I’ve ever given him, but it was exactly what I needed. For that brief moment I was just right there. I didn’t feel the pain or the discomfort, I wasn’t worried about anything but his big cock in my mouth and his hands in my hair. Like a delicious mindfulness exercise that gave me some relief.
After he came, he pulled me close and chuckled, thanking me and calling me a badass. He said I was the woman who makes quesadillas while she’s in labor and gives blowjobs while passing a kidney stone. It made me smile. Maybe I am a badass.
Right now I am just hoping to get through this and heal quickly, so we can get back to indulging in each other and I in myself.