I’ve really struggled to get this edition of the newsletter published, ironically, since its whole theme was intended to be “good enough is good.” I’ve gone through waves of procrastination, finally getting everything put together except for this intro. I started it a dozen times and sat at my keyboard with disorganized static in my head. I’ve raged, gone through a plethora of existential crises, and berated myself in full form for weeks trying to force myself to create something, to share this grand theory about how good enough should be the goal, and showcase the small changes I’ve made in my life recently to try and cut out some of the worthless, toxic perfectionism that leaves me in complete and utter executive dysfunction.
Again this morning I sat in front of my computer unable to form cohesive thoughts. I cried to my husband about how I just can’t do it, I’m too overwhelmed. There is too much happening around me and my brain refuses to cooperate. I started listing the things out loud that were impeding my work and my creativity and, I think for anyone, it would be a lot. There are so many different layers of difficulty at play right now on top of the day-to-day struggles, that it’s easy to get overwhelmed and feel defeated.
The holidays are always hard, especially since we are so isolated here with no family and few friends. I won’t get to see my oldest son this year and haven’t seen him since last Christmas, so I’m struggling with missing him, it will be the longest I’ve ever gone without being with him and it physically hurts. My youngest is autistic and is pretty quick to have a meltdown, especially when it’s tense and everyone is stressed, which becomes a difficult cycle. And yesterday my husband discovered that he will be laid off soon from a job he loved that he’s been at for almost 6 years. It’s hard for me to focus on a calm day, mostly due to my own autism and ADHD, but all of this? I feel like my settings are stuck on hard mode.
This afternoon, while making my son lunch, I realized my “good enough” for this newsletter intro was just this, sharing with you. No extravagant photoshoot, no groundbreaking epiphanies, just me saying that sometimes doing something productive at all is good enough. I hope you and your families have a wonderful holiday and that you allow yourself the kindness and rest you inherently deserve. Thank you for reading <3
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Do you really want free speech?
I’ve seen a lot of dead bodies. To the best of my knowledge, none of them ended up that way because they read some hate speech on the internet and immediately died of a word attack in their brains.
Can you imagine if humans had that kind of power? If you could just send a tweet and harm your enemies?
Well, actually, you don’t have to imagine it. Take a glance at this story in the New York Times about Journalist Kurt Eichenwald. It details the time a Trump supporter sent him a tweet featuring a GIF with a strobe effect to intentionally trigger an epileptic seizure.
It’s horrifying to know that a human being would so casually attempt to cause potentially fatal harm to another human just because they don’t like the way that person does their job. But that’s what hate is. Hatred, by definition, cannot manifest positively.
Sure words can’t directly harm you, nobody’s ever been stabbed to death by a pejorative. But they can inspire, rally, and trigger people into harming those they disagree with.
In fact, I challenge anyone to come up with a single example of historical conflict in which words were not involved. The Romans didn’t silently sneak up on Europe and conquer it. The people who built the United States of America didn’t quietly disagree with England and depart for reasons unknown. It all started with words.
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Did you know? 🧠
People smoked cannabis on the Silk Road at least 2,500 years ago. In 2019, Scientists in China found braziers dating back to the BCE era that were confirmed to contain cannabis residue. The researchers believe they were used in religious and social rituals.
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