As my 19 year old son lounged on the couch scrolling TikTok, after having not been here, to the beach, in over a year I sat watching flabbergasted, confused and admittedly annoyed. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he’d been here for days before wanting to walk half a block to the …
I had a moment of clarity today. A moment of confidence not only as a parent, but as a functioning, participating member of a loving family and relationship with another human being. And it was set off by the toddler pissing all over the floor at eight o’clock on a Monday morning. Potty training …
T/w: parental relationships Every few years or so I find myself overwhelmed with the need for a mom. I put myself out there with my mother, swallow my hurt feelings over her not caring about me or my children. And it always cycles back around to being ignored, blown off and ultimately hurt. Again. …
c/w: anxiety, mental health. If you have anxiety, you can probably relate to the nonsensical mess that runs through your head when you are feeling it heavy. If you don’t, I try here to offer a little insight into the running dialogue in my head when mine gets the better of me. Sitting at the …
Guilt. My preferred, perfect poison. Always right there when I need it.
It’s been interesting learning more and more about my mental illnesses and the things I can do to help myself. I never knew I had so much control over my brain. It has been both a miraculous breakthrough and a terrifying realization. It makes me feel more hopeful about my mental health prognosis, but knowing it is ultimately up to me is pretty fucking scary.