I really try not to pay too much attention to the descriptions of items I’m going to review because I like to be surprised. And this time I was not disappointed. When I saw the photos of the Snail Vibe at Betty’s Toy Box, I was under the impression it was smaller and the round ends went inside the vagina for G-spot action. So I spent the time before it arrived trying to figure out the logistics for that, I wasn’t sure I got it.

When I opened up the package I was genuinely surprised at how big it is, at almost nine and a half inches, and was still trying to figure out how those large end bits, that are about the size of golf balls, were supposed to go inside at the same time. Turns out they don’t and I really just wasn’t seeing it. It’s like art, yeah?

Snail Vibe Snail Vibe

The smooth, six-inch phallic side is meant to be inserted and the ball on the flexible loop is designed to maintain contact with the clitoris as you thrust the toy. That made more sense once I figured it out. I share my confusion because I think it’s pretty cool that this toy is so innovative that I didn’t immediately know how it worked. There aren’t a lot of sex toys like that. The design of this toy required some out-of-the-box thinking and I’m impressed.

There is plenty to like about the Snail Vibe, though, the more I type it, the less I like its name. It’s silicone and waterproof, so it’s bathtime friendly. The design is pretty brilliant. Maintaining constant vibration against the vulva and clitoris during thrusting penetration is not something you’re really able to achieve with only one toy, in my experience. An auto-thrusting rabbit might be close, but auto-thrusting means you are reliant on whatever speed, pattern, or depth is available to you, rather than go at your own pace. This takes away the need for a separate vibe and gives you a hand free.

Snail Vibe

Not one, but two rumbly motors are housed in the Snail, at the insertable end to stimulate your G-spot and the other, as I mentioned, in the part that rests against the clitoris. The relatively quiet motors are independently controlled, with easy-to-use buttons on the handle, offering five pattern types and five intensities to create substantial wand-esque vibrations.

I like the shape of the whole thing, the vibrating ball is large enough to maintain contact with the clitoris, no matter how you are angling the insertable bit to reach your G-spot. A lot of dual-purpose G-spot-targeted toys won’t reach your clitoris at all if you tilt it too far, so making the outside part bigger was a thoughtful addition. I also appreciated the shape of the penetrating part, it is skinny enough to be precise, but solid and doesn’t have much give, which is good when you are trying to apply pressure to a specific area.

The Snail Vibe is easy to charge, and two hours of charge time will get you an hour of use. It even comes with a cute little matching zippered case. I always appreciate a real storage box versus a bag, especially when a toy is this big.snail vibe case

Snail Vibe

It’s not you, it’s me

I never thought I would be 39 and my wrists hurt too bad to masturbate however I choose, but here we are. Being a full-time stylist for over fifteen years didn’t do my arms any favors. Hopefully, there is relief in my future, but right now it is what it is. And what it is, is a giant bummer that I can’t actively masturbate with a lot of the toys I love and would love to love, was I capable of using them.

Unfortunately, this toy is one of them. The few times I was able to use the toy by myself it fatigued my arms fairly quickly. Pushing the toy in, you meet resistance, as the curly part, well, uncurls. So it requires more effort than just a regular dildo. I’ve been having the same trouble with my nJoy wand as well, because of its weight and the little bit of extra exertion causes me pain which kind of defeats the whole purpose of masturbating.

That doesn’t mean I’m not able to enjoy the toy, thankfully, I have a husband with a willing hand to help. But it’s worth noting that if you have hand or arm pain, this toy might be a challenge for you. There is hope for the future of self-pleasure for all of us though, in this new piece of assistive sex tech from Bump’n that looks like it could be compatible with the Snail.

You can grab your Snail Vibe here for $150, and don’t forget the lube. This is a silicone toy, so a water-based or water-dominant hybrid will be your best bet. Make sure you sign up for an account so you can receive rewards when you make such a significant purchase as you can put some points towards a future discount. Future you will appreciate your expert planning.

 

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