I told my therapist I was planning to write about what it does to your brain to be cheated on for a decade. She agreed but suggested it not be specifically about being cheated on, but rather about being exposed to trauma for a decade. I nodded my head in agreement, but in my head I …
I have really been struggling to write lately. Not because of blocks, or lack of inspiration, but so much is happening so quickly that I have too much to say and very little time to say it. Not only are our lives changing in numerous dramatic ways, I also have a two year old all …
I originally published this on my SFW blog last Fall, but didn’t realize I hadn’t shared it here as well. CW: contains mentions of depression and suicide Depression is notorious for killing your motivation and creativity, so a few weeks ago I was trying to force myself to do something, anything, to help get that …
Go on…I wrote a letter to my younger self and it was cathartic af
Having a mental illness is often a lonely feeling. In my experience, depression, anxiety and PTSD, whether separately, or some magical bullshit combines them together into a cocktail of distinct and almost comforting isolation. I struggle with this because I find it effortless to melt into that loneliness and isolation as it is easier and more …
I started the day like most Thursdays, excited because it was date night and a little anxious but eager to go to therapy. As I was getting my medication out for the day, I realized I wasn’t dying to get to therapy like I usually am by Thursday morning. I don’t really have any friends …
What did I want to do on my birthday? I want to do something that will make me feel good about myself. I want to feel sexy and beautiful and feminine.
Guilt. My preferred, perfect poison. Always right there when I need it.
I want to shed this completely unnecessary negativity that I feel I’ve been drowning in my entire life. To do that I have to challenge my immediate thoughts.
It’s been interesting learning more and more about my mental illnesses and the things I can do to help myself. I never knew I had so much control over my brain. It has been both a miraculous breakthrough and a terrifying realization. It makes me feel more hopeful about my mental health prognosis, but knowing it is ultimately up to me is pretty fucking scary.
