It’s okay to want to feel validated. Seriously.

I couldn’t tell you how many times I sat in my therapists office last year as she so easily and nonchalantly said “Of course, you just want your feelings validated.” Like this was common knowledge. I didn’t even understand it when she said it to me the first time. I’ve spent my entire life hearing …

Go on…It’s okay to want to feel validated. Seriously.

Hi. I’m Nikki and I minimize my trauma.

  I told my therapist I was planning to write about what it does to your brain to be cheated on for a decade. She agreed but suggested it not be specifically about  being cheated on, but rather about being exposed to trauma for a decade. I nodded my head in agreement, but in my head I …

Go on…Hi. I’m Nikki and I minimize my trauma.

Believing

I have really been struggling to write lately. Not because of blocks, or lack of inspiration, but so much is happening so quickly that I have too much to say and very little time to say it. Not only are our lives changing in numerous dramatic ways, I also have a two year old all …

Go on…Believing

That fucking blanket

Having a mental illness is often a lonely feeling. In my experience, depression, anxiety and PTSD, whether separately, or some magical bullshit combines them together into a cocktail of distinct and almost comforting isolation. I struggle with this because I find it effortless to melt into that loneliness and isolation as it is easier and more …

Go on…That fucking blanket

A fundamental fear of happiness

I started the day like most Thursdays, excited because it was date night and a little anxious but eager to go to therapy. As I was getting my medication out for the day, I realized I wasn’t dying to get to therapy like I usually am by Thursday morning. I don’t really have any friends …

Go on…A fundamental fear of happiness

Growth is painful, good thing I’m a masochist

It’s been interesting learning more and more about my mental illnesses and the things I can do to help myself. I never knew I had so much control over my brain. It has been both a miraculous breakthrough and a terrifying realization. It makes me feel more hopeful about my mental health prognosis, but knowing it is ultimately up to me is pretty fucking scary.

5 reasons why you should start a mini water propagation garden today