I’m doing the best that I can

CW: mentions of alchohol, mental health, ADHD, depression, RSD   I often feel like I’m losing time and it makes it hard to breathe. Watching my life pass me by, so many plans made and forgotten. Moving to a new country, not meeting new people, not exploring a new culture, just so much hiding. Some …

Go on…I’m doing the best that I can

Study: Traditional ‘scripts’ for sexuality leave heterosexual men feeling left out

  Do heterosexual men feel desired in their relationships? Survey says: No. A pair of Canadian researchers recently conducted a study involving 300 men between the ages of 18 and 65. Participants were sourced from Reddit and, apparently, self-identified as heterosexual. The men were asked questions relating to how “desired” they feel in their relationships. Surprisingly, …

Go on…Study: Traditional ‘scripts’ for sexuality leave heterosexual men feeling left out

It’s not just you, self love is really hard

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, it’s not going to get better. It’s not. — Dr. Seuss I have a truth that might sound harsh, cold, and unlike advice I usually have for folks struggling with their self esteem but I feel like it’s one I had to learn, accept and truly believe to …

Go on…It’s not just you, self love is really hard

Letters to my younger self – Walks

  You, Miss Nikki are a beautiful, adventurous soul. I was thinking about you today. Thinking about the walks we used to take in the woods, down that old dirt road, through town, early in the morning, alone and exploring old buildings and abandoned farms. You are such an explorer. I’m so sorry they make …

Go on…Letters to my younger self – Walks

Just fucking talk about it

We can all get pretty caught up in our heads. Problems with no obvious solutions become bigger, scarier problems and it begins to get so overwhelming you feel hopeless and defeated, and then you finally, with shaking hands and tears in your eyes, talk to someone about it. You give it a voice, let it …

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Radical Self Love

  Untitled Document.   It taunts me. That empty space, begging to be filled. To be created, to become something tangible and real. Knowing it would make me feel better to just purge something onto a page, anything, just exorcise some demons.    I think I am afraid of it. Afraid of what I will …

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When a face oil heals more than skin deep – a review

    c/w: mental health, triggers Scent is a funny thing, isn’t it? The mere whisper of a familiar smell can instantly take you back to place where all of your other senses are triggered. The smell of an ocean breeze can send you to a place in your head where you can hear the …

Go on…When a face oil heals more than skin deep – a review

What tf do you want?

  If you’re unhappy, make a change. Sounds simple enough, right? Turns out a lot of us don’t actually want things to change. Dr David Burns explains in his book, Feeling Good Together, he tells his patients when asking for his help with their relationships, that they have three options: make a change, leave the …

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A leaf on the motherfucking wind

Anger is a trigger for me. As much as I work on healing and resolving my trauma, it’s still there. Always lingering. Waiting to embarrass me, or make me feel like a shitty partner. It’s fun stuff, really. See, like many of us, I grew up in a shitty home, with shittier parents. My father was …

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Hi. I’m Nikki and I minimize my trauma.

  I told my therapist I was planning to write about what it does to your brain to be cheated on for a decade. She agreed but suggested it not be specifically about  being cheated on, but rather about being exposed to trauma for a decade. I nodded my head in agreement, but in my head I …

Go on…Hi. I’m Nikki and I minimize my trauma.

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